The post is tremendously personal. As you can see from the title, the meaning is pretty explicit. When I started this blog I saw it as a way to express myself freely online and put up content that I would be proud of. So as I write this post, there are tears welling in my eyes because this is personally very hard for me to do… but I am still going to do this. Partly because I am super mad at the company that I keep and secondly because my creative juices are flowing. I am in no way ashamed of my sexuality and in no way will I let myself belittled by the ignorant bisexual phobic strata of society. Why is it that we see this as too opposing ideals? Always a pair of contrasting ideas. It’s like we love the number 2. Either Gay or Straight, Male or Female. Bring in Bisexuality and the world is thrown into chaos, because 3 is an odd ugly non-conformist number. You cannot like both men and women. Unless its bible related, 3 as a number is not cool. And because of this increasingly annoying view of Bisexuals are further stigmatised in society. Given the kind of person I am, I am extroverted and very social but I hesitate very often to talk about my deepest feelings. Which is a reason why it is so empowering to come out and accept a secret that I have been keeping close to my heart ever since I could remember. It is hard to break my resolve to not speak about my sexuality and go to publically announce it. Coming out is a lot easier in my head than it is when I try to actually do it. Which is why dear readers I urge you to support the LGBT community or at least if someone who confides in you about their sexuality do greet it with positivity and no hate. I understand that for many people it is confusing and that you may have a lot of questions regarding the same, and maybe you don’t support the whole thing altogether but I see no reason for any negativity whatsoever. I cannot understand why people are phobic to the LGBT community but these are their feelings and opinions aligned against mine. There is a difference in expressing your opinion and standing for what you believe in but discrimination and homophobia are two very different things. Being an ‘ignorant bitch’ and making baseless claims and quoting off religious texts and yada yada is not freedom of speech mate. Getting on to this blog post, which is designed to present to you dear readers all the questions that I was asked when I came out.
1. “Are you sure you’re bisexual? Can you like confirm it or something?”
-Of course, I recently took a blood test and the results confirmed that I’m A+ve and Bisexual. You’re probably O- and hateful.
2. “OMG you’re going to have so much sex now! Gosh don’t be so greedy!”
-Do I detect jealousy in your tone? Because it sounded like you’re offended that you aren’t part of my ‘gang bang club’.
3. “How can you be bisexual when you haven’t dated a girl?”
-How can I understand English when I’m not a metaphor? How can I understand Math when I’m not an integer? How can you tell you’re straight when you haven’t dated a girl? And, the blood test confirms my bisexuality remember?
4. “You know this could just be a phase. Think about it”?
-Totally, name withheld person this is a phase that has been there for seventeen years.
5. “I always knew you were bisexual. You speak about women the same way that you speak about men.”
-I always knew you were an asshole. You act like you know me but you don’t. Just because I’m physically affectionate and not afraid to admire women and men equally, don’t make assumptions. Hell you got lucky. If you knew I was bisexual all along why didn’t you say anything? Huh?
6. “Since you support Gay Rights and all I figured that you would not be straight.”
-God I just want to punch you in the face but you’re too tall and muscular and I am not breaking any bones in this fine body. However, name withheld friend, I support animal rights too, guess that makes me a fox whose fur is most likely going to be covering Kim Kardashian’s big ass (ego). I don’t support the anti-abortion debate I guess that doesn’t make me an unborn foetus.
7. “So you’re like totally going to be into threesomes and all right?”
-Firstly, mind your own business. Secondly, you sound interested leading me to believe that you will bring a friend around. Thirdly, stop making assumptions and go educate yourself. Also you do know that ‘Threesomes’ and ‘Bisexual’ are separate categories on porn sites right?
8. “OMG YOU ARE BISEXUAL. This is so brave of you. I don’t know where you found the courage to come out, it must be so difficult. I’m sorry.”
-Human you’re the one who is making this increasingly difficult to do. I am telling you that I am bisexual. I haven’t been diagnosed with a serious medical condition that requires so much melodrama. Honestly, why is coming out such a big deal? I understand the social stigma and etc but you don’t find heterosexuals posting ‘I am Hetero. Coming Out” videos on YouTube. Tone down the sympathy, give us acceptance.
9. “Okay so I get that you’re bisexual and all but seriously it has to be like a 60/40 percentage right? Like you possible prefer one gender over the other.”
-Why are people so ignorant? No name withheld person, I don’t do favourites. This is my sexuality not my cup of coffee or the odds of me surviving my boards. Please view sexuality as a spectrum and stop inflicting the world with your horrible and offensive statistic. Thank you.
10. “A recent study says that women are most likely to be bisexual than men.”
-A recent study also says that you’re going to be bitch slapped hard by a very sexy seventeen year old Indian girl. Also that fact that you’re quoting is in no way true cause if that were the case then why are there also bisexual men in numbers? The problem is that women being bisexual or lesbian is alright but there is a stigma towards men being bisexual or gay. Also David Bowie is bisexual and proud. So shut up.
11. “You know they say that Bisexuals are most likely to cheat. Because they’re like a pendulum. They swing both ways.”
-I sincerely hope that my bisexual pendulum swings your way and breaks your skull. I’ll probably pay for my adultery sins in heaven but Jesus is going to be proud of my ignorance elimination.
12. “God doesn’t want you to be bisexual.”
-I didn’t ask the Holy Father for permission. And Jesus doesn’t want you to be a bitch either.
13. “You’ve always spoken about dating men. I cannot believe that you’re bisexual.”
-Yeah I know and that’s because I never told you how I really felt. I don’t know things like discrimination, homophobia, and alienation from society really pressurized me to shit the fuck up. I will objectify women as I do men for your consideration now.
14. “Bisexuals are sexual predators. They have an insatiable thirst for sex.”
-That right, I want to sleep with the whole wide world. God I’m so horny. I have an insatiable thirst to slit your throat. You make me so angry that I am going to become a murderer.
15. “Who was your girl crush that inspired these feelings out of you? Are you sure it’s not just binge watching too many LGBT videos?”
-Name withheld friend, when you speak and syllables come out of your sexy mouth and form sentences, you don’t realise how insensitive you are right now but if you need me to slap that right out of you. I’m you’re girl.
16. “How will you have sex with a girl?”
-Dudette, I am seventeen years old. I have college admissions to worry about honestly sex is really not the hot topic in my brain. Also I believe you require another person, which I don’t have considering my education is my partner right now. Plus internet.
17. “In all seriousness, you have to pick one. You can marry a man and get straight Indian privileges. Marrying a girl is a crime in India and Section 377 man, aren’t you worried?
-MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AND STOP DEBATING ON MY MARRIAGE PLANS OR PREDICTATNG MY FUTURE DUMBASS! This is not ice cream flavours. I pity your brain if this is the shit that it has to go through and process.
18. “All this bisexual stuff is western influence. India mein only boy-girl. “
Believe me now
-Chutiye, India ke Khajuraho statutes dekhe hain. What “stuff” their doing isn’t very sanskari or heterosexual. Humme toh ye bahut hi Indian influence lag raha hai boss. (Expletive, have you seen India’s Khajuraho statutes? The “stuff” that they’re doing isn’t very traditional or heterosexual. I think that there is a lot of Indian influence boss).
Dear readers, above as you can see were the various questions that I was asked by my friends to whom I had come out too. However, for all the negative and insensitive remarks, there were some genuine heartfelt responses from my friends that I believe I should share with you dear readers. Most of the responses have been paraphrased, a few have been actual texts that were sent to me by my friends. I want everyone to understand that there are people who will accept you fully and love you unconditionally for who you are and some might take a while to adjust to change but don’t beat yourself down for every person who refuses to accept you. The best thing about being a minority is that we are smaller in number but united in our beliefs. You are accepted as an individual in the LGBT community. Hopefully, the world will become a better place for humanity to understand one and another better. For now be strong, don’t lose focus and you wear yourself proud, regardless of what you want served on your sexual platter. You do you and don’t let anybody bring you down and let you differently. I am bisexual and I am proud. I have accepted myself and hopefully dear readers, one day the world will accept me too…
19. “We support you. We love you it doesn’t make a difference what your sexuality is.”
20. “Evita I thought you got signed by a major record label by all the hype that you were creating. You telling me that you’re bisexual is like me telling you what I had for breakfast. Not a big deal. It’s 2015 and I’m your best friend stupid.”
21. “YES YOU’RE BISEXUAL! Good thing this widens your dating pool and my search for the perfect partner for Miss Marques.”
22. “I am touched that you expressed how you felt Ev. I think I’m going to cry. I love you and I’m going to punch anyone who makes fun about your sexuality. I’m proud that you’re accepting who you really are. And I’m happy that you shared this with me.”
23. “Yeah, you go girl. You were born a hunter. Ladies and Gentlemen watch out!”
24. “Oh wow! Congrats!! Did you get a girlfriend yet? Can I set you up with someone please?
25. “It doesn’t make any difference that you’re bisexual. You’re still super annoying and brilliant.”
26. “Well. I won’t change at all and nor should anyone around you because you’re a ball of fire who can burn anyone who disses you, yet give the comfort and warmth of an AMAZING, lover, sister, friend, and so will you when you become a mom. You’re an amazing woman. I totally look up to you and this isn’t because you’re bi but you have always been amazing and nothing changes from there.”