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Friday, 21 February 2014

Little Me


“Literature is a textually transmitted disease, normally contracted in childhood- Jane Yolen.”

A letter to my former self who is such a charmer, obviously since she’s me! I mean have you met me? I’m simply amazing but I wouldn’t get so ahead of myself, it’d be rude to do so. Without further ado, below is the letter that contains a lot of me (duh!), a lot of rubbish (double duh!) and a lot of philosophy (triple duh!).

“When we are children we seldom think of the future. This innocence leaves us free to enjoy ourselves as few adults can. The day we fret about the future is the day we leave our childhood behind.” -Patrick Rothfuss

Read if you please.


Dear little one,
Gag!
Pleasantries later, first a word of advice: ‘Anida’ is a terrible go-to name for future pranks. 

Secondly, the Oxford dictionary has been adulterated with my generations’ obsession for catchphrases’ like: ‘swag’ and ‘YOLO’. No sweetheart, you really don’t want to know why. So I suggest you give up on father’s battered old copy of ‘Wren and Martin’, you won’t need it anymore. I mean the way lovely Grammar has been butchered... it’s a nightmare! Thirdly, never dumb you down for a guy, intelligence is the new sexy (PS: I’m still single). 

Fourthly, you are going to develop a wild personality which includes the Marques Madness (most people run away screaming murder but those who stay are equally as demented so you’re in good hands... I swear! 

Fifthly, there is this book series called ‘Twilight’, DO NOT READ THEM. Even if your life depends on it, I swear to god, don’t you DARE pick up that book; it has ruined lives. And lastly, I want you to be reckless, be crazy, be smart, be confident and be #Culkin. Please, I’m not going to tell you what that means, you’re me, you’ll find out eventually... That’s if I let you... Mwahahaha. Sorry, I forget that I am talking to myself. Wouldn’t want to scandalise you my younger version. I know people who dislike me because they don’t get me. They fear what they can’t understand but I don’t blame them, I am quite creepy when I want to be. What can I say, we aim to please. ‘Cause I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo, what the hell am I doing here...?’  Yeah, not making a very good impression right? Well my dear in my world, I am the definition of sanity because madness is like gravity all it takes is one push...


Nevertheless, I don’t want to ruin the pretty picture of the future that you painted for me to see. Well, if I have to break it all down for you, not everything as you wished has happened.  No we are not belly dancers like Shakira (Yeah, I know I’m sorry). Stop practicing on ‘Hips Don’t Lie’, it’s really embarrassing when I move now, I seem to punch people and that ain’t good if your victim is in her late 80s. Moving on, turns out Zombies don’t exist. Resident Evil is just a movie; no one from the Umbrella corp. is coming to get you. See, our brother was lying about everything, so please go to sleep at night and for goodness sake don’t smother the toy cat when you’re scared! Hug mum because she’ll take those nightmares away. I still do... (You didn’t have to know that) but guess what you get your own room! But it’s also part guestroom for when guests come over. It’s a travesty!

Me (Then)
It has been a while since we’ve last spoken to each other. It’s been perhaps ages since I last saw you in my photo album, in your favourite dress, powder can and of course your beanie! How are you little one? How are the memories that we both share? You are so much that I treasure, maybe because you are the part of me that I miss so much. Your innocence, your drama, the way you clung to our brother when we were younger, you were really something. Oh don’t worry, nothing’s changed, we are the epitome of awesomeness. Our brother still loves us unconditionally and he still helps us pick out our clothes. Our brother still sleeps like a little baby and it’s always heart breaking to wake him up. No, he still makes fun of us and he still charms the pants off all your friends. He’s doing very well and he is living the dream. We don’t jam to ‘Westlife’ or ‘Backstreet Boys’ anymore, neither do we play role-play games together like we used to when we were kids... but we share a better equation little one, let’s just say he’s there when you need him to be. Isn’t that what you always wanted? Despite of all the fights and sibling wars that you have had with him, he still needs you like you need him. You know why? Because you’re his little sister, his nanu. And no one can take that away from you. Honestly, not even him.

Our life is not a smooth sailing ship though like the Titanic there is a point is our life where
we’ve hit that ice berg and we’ve sunk. We’ve sunk deep in our emotions, like quicksand it has consumed us wholly and yes the sky isn’t blue and the night is far too dark and the stars are dim. I don’t want to scare you but this is reality and I know that you don’t want to be hurt but everything comes at a price and sometimes there are sacrifices to be made and pain to be felt. Nevertheless, there is hope. There is always hope! Because ‘hope’ burns brighter in darkness and that period of deep dead silence will ebb away and tomorrow will be a better day. Your tears will be of joy, your insides will hurt because of laughter, your heart will ache from all the happiness it has stored and your smile will be genuine.


I know all you ever wanted was to find someone worth fighting for, be a person worth rooting for and a soul worth saving. And, that you are. You have to understand that for the good to come the bad events must take place. It’s a chain reaction or philosophically, the circle of life. That’s the only way that you can appreciate God’s gift to you. Look, your life is yet to begin and my dear you will achieve so much. You will find yourself even when you’ve gone wayward, even when the roads hit a dead end. You will always be in control of who you are because our destiny resides in us and only we have the power to change it.
  
Remember above all, that love is patient and love is kind. Love is the most powerful armour that you can wear. Love like there is no tomorrow, love like your life depends on it, love so unconditionally that even the people who dislike you, can’t help but like you. Never ever stop spreading your love because in service you shall find eternal peace. Love is not a liability, don’t ever let it be. And there is no greater feeling than knowing that you have touched someone’s heart, changed someone’s life or given a person hope. Do good because you’ll feel good. I won’t deny that there won’t be times where you just want to curl into a ball and cry your core out. But, please be strong, don’t be afraid to let those tears fall. Make plenty of mistakes and work hard in everything that you do because it is worth every penny and my dear you are worth it. Even if your troubles or people may tell you otherwise, you are nothing but perfectly imperfect. 

It’s not a sad life; it’s actually a very good life. You’d be surprised with how much potential resides within us and the success we’ve always dreamed of are yet to come. That burning inferno of passion will take you to places both high and low but stay driven, it’s important that you do. We’re doing well, not only academically but also generally. Apparently, we have an unconventional but witty sense of humour that only the wise can understand (No I’m not exaggerating; even our brother seems to agree). We make peoples laugh, smile and sometimes we’re even they’re shoulder to cry on. People like us, they seem to enjoy being in our company.
All I want to say is that you draw your own silver lining and you get to decide who you want in that silver lining. The future is so uncertain and no matter how much I dream and think about it, it’s always changing because we are growing our horizons widening and our visions expanding. Old ideas are transformed with finer clarity in its meaning. You’ll be fine; you’re so adorable. You are the cutest kid ever; I could just eat you up. Okay I’m being weird so I’m going to stop now. Hey and don’t trouble mum okay, she’s been through some tough times with you and you know what you should thank her every day for the things she has sacrificed for you. Same applies to our father and lovely brother.

Always,

Evita-Marie Marques.